When was the last time you hesitated before making a decision because you were waiting for someone else’s approval? Or felt that pang of doubt because your ideas weren’t immediately embraced by others? If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many successful professionals, despite their achievements, feel like they will be found out for being a fraud. This widespread feeling is called “Imposter Syndrome.”
But what if I told you that Imposter Syndrome is merely a symptom of something deeper and NOT the root cause of how we feel?
Huh?
Here’s the deal.
Unmasking Imposter Syndrome
At the core of Imposter Syndrome lies a need for external validation. It’s that voice inside you that says, “They’ll find out I don’t belong here” or “I was just lucky this time.” The irony is that as seasoned professionals, we’ve faced countless challenges, led teams, and made decisions that impacted entire organizations. Yet, that small voice inside still whispers, “What if I’m not good enough?” or “What will they think?“
While Imposter Syndrome manifests as a fear of being exposed as a fraud, what’s really at play is a chained form of confidence, contingent on external validation and always seeking external approval to affirm its existence.
The Hidden Culprit: Chained Confidence
The true antagonist here is not the imposter feelings but what I call ‘Chained Confidence.’ When our confidence is chained, it’s conditional. It thrives only when fed by external praise, accolades, or acknowledgment. The moment that external validation wavers, self-doubt creeps in, paving the way for feelings of being an imposter. Think of it as confidence on a leash, held back by external voices and judgments.
And it’s not just in the workplace … it permeates our whole lives. It turns us into people pleasers for fear of being judged and not liked. Into perfectionists who won’t put ourselves out there for fear we might not be good enough. Or procrastinators, who avoid doing things so we don’t have to expose ourselves to criticism. Chained Confidence is that voice in the back of your head that makes you double-check an email ten times before sending it because you’re worried about how it will be received. It’s the reason why you won’t share an artwork, a song you composed, or a piece you wrote because you feel someone might not like it.
Chained Confidence is sneaky … it’s the voice that magnifies the smallest criticisms but downplays any grand achievement. So it’s not just about feeling like an “imposter.” It’s about constantly seeking validation, fearing judgment, and holding back our true selves. It’s a confidence that’s conditional, dependent on the validation and approval of others to truly thrive: a thumbs up from the boss or a slew of approving social media comments.
The Solution: Unlocking True Self-Trust
So, how do you break free? You need to develop a sense of internal trust in yourself. It’s about grounding your confidence in your own abilities and values, not just external validation. It’s adopting a growth mindset, and learning to value feedback without being defined by it. And most of all, to know that things may not always work out the way you want them to … but you will show up for the challenge.
This isn’t a call to shut out external feedback or live in self-imposed isolation. Instead, it’s an invitation to recalibrate our internal compasses and cultivate a resilient internal belief system, deeply rooted in our unique capabilities, experiences, and intrinsic values.
👋 Hi, I’m Cristina and I help teams and professionals become Empowered by Discomfort so they can face challenges with confidence.
Resonate with what I am saying? Then shoot me an email cristina@cristinamramirez.com and ask me about how I can help you and/or your team. 🙌