Culture & Beliefs

In my book, and in all my courses, I talk a LOT about beliefs. Beliefs are stories we decide are true. They influence everything. They are gatekeepers that allow us to take action or prevent us from taking action.

Beliefs can come from our experiences. I associate an experience with pain and therefore I am scared of it. Or they come from our cultural conditioning … If your family is, for example, Christian, there is a good chance you are Christian too.

Beliefs are really, REALLY, important and you can learn about them more in my book or in the Unchained Confidence Course. But here is an unpopular opinion:

YOU decide what stories are true, and YOU are in control over which beliefs to attach to.

You could decide, if you wanted, to change religions and associations.

You have that power.

But beliefs are sneaky because you often don’t realize you have them. And if you are unaware, well, then you can’t change them.

Here’s a story:

I’m currently writing this from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. I am on vacation visiting my niece who lives here. I was born and raised here too … I lived in Sao Paulo until I was 15 years old. In fact, Portuguese was my first language.

My niece came here four years ago in her early twenties. She was explaining to my sons about Brazilian culture and I was fascinated. Because I recognize MANY of the traits she ascribes to Brazilian culture in me.

There are aspects of my personality I value that come from that culture, and others not so much. But until she was speaking, it had never occurred to me that this is where those beliefs were embedded in me. And more fascinating, I wasn’t aware of how prevalent Brazilian culture really is in my view of the world.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I study this, I write about this, I teach this, I help others with this, and I STILL don’t understand all of my cultural conditioning and I probably never will! So don’t feel bad that sometimes you don’t know WHY you do something. But if you want to change anything in your life, then the first place to start is asking yourself what beliefs are you holding and are they serving you.

For example:

You may have a hard time spending money on yourself. Perhaps your hidden belief is that investing in yourself is selfish because you are a parent and your kids’ needs come first.  You may not KNOW that this belief is prevalent and is stopping you from doing something – from starting a business to buying a dress. But if you just question yourself a little bit you can see why you think that, and then you can CHOOSE whether that belief is true and if it is helping you.

You. Are. In. Control.

I know, it’s unpopular to think so, and it forces you to take all sorts of responsibilities. You are not responsible for things that happen TO you, but you do have control over how you react to them.

Take it! It’s yours to claim.