What’s The Point?

Here’s a story:

I used to run … a lot. I’ve run 5 marathons, 3 of which were during Ironman races. But I developed hip issues (which then led to a hip replacement but that’s a tale for another day). A few years ago, I decided to try running again.

I would run for 1 minute and walk for 1 minute. That was the pace I felt my hip could withstand without major pain. Maybe it was psychological? I don’t know. But even if it was a frustrating pace for many runners – it really was the best I could do and I was so happy to be running again.

At the time, I was living in Taos, New Mexico. My friend, let’s call her Mary, was going through a rough time in her life. She told me she used to run and missed it, but felt she was now old, slow, and out of shape. I encouraged her to run with me, I felt the same way about me.

“No,” she said. “I’m very slow, I’ll be a drag.”

I told her about my 1:1 ratio, that I was always one of the slowest in my group so I know what that feels like, she can do this, [insert my usual nothing is impossible coaching here].

I finally convinced her to meet me for a 3-mile loop where we would go up a hill, around and back. We did the 1:1 pace and it was amazing. It felt so great to actually run with someone instead of by myself. We chatted, bonded, connected. I couldn’t believe I finally had a running partner at my pace.

“Let’s do it again!” She said.

Absolutely, see you Sunday at 10:00am.

We met up and again it was great.

“Let’s do it again!” She said.

Absolutely, see you Tuesday at 7:00am.

I was excited but I knew that sooner or later she was going to want to run faster … because she was getting back in the groove, her confidence was up, and she could run faster so why not?

In the first walk break she started…

“What if we tried a different pace? Like run 2 minutes, walk 1 minute instead?”

I tried, because I wanted to keep my running partner and I am also all about pushing myself. But I was hurting and I told her I couldn’t keep up. She was visibly disappointed.

And now one of us had the choice of being a victim. Either I held her back, or she pushed me to a point that I would hurt myself. But that’s not how I’m built.

I encouraged her to go faster, not only was she capable of doing it but it’s what her soul was asking of her. It took a little convincing but she did. She had been in a victim role for a while, so it was hard for her to go forward without guilt.

I saw her running down the hill ahead of me, and that’s when I understood my life purpose at a deeper level.

I am the person who picks you up, dusts you off, and believes in you until you can believe in yourself. I’ve done this my whole life. From teaching my son to play guitar for him to become one of the highest ranking guitar players in the state … to asking a quadriplegic friend who had never done a triathlon to race with me and then her going off to become a world record holder. #TrueStory

It’s a wonderful thing.

It helps me identify who I can, and who I can’t help. And it also allows me to let go of the people I help who now have the confidence to move forward on their own.

I don’t know what your purpose is but I know you have one. And I know that one aspect of Unchained Confidence is living in the fulfillment of that purpose and therefore this is a part of the work I do with clients in our program.

I take risks. I make waves. Some work, others not so much, and none of it damages my confidence because my purpose is bigger than my pride.

Your turn … do you know what your purpose in this one life you have is?